How To Increase Your Self-Love: 7 Ways to Get Grounded in Your Goodness

by | Apr 8, 2024 | Inner Work, Personal Growth, Uncategorized

Why is self-love such a challenge for so many of us?

If you’re anything like me, you might find yourself prioritizing others’ needs, juggling multiple responsibilities, and tuning into everyone else’s feelings and preferences. It can be easily to fall into old patterns and inadvertently neglect the most important relationship of all – the one we have with ourselves.

Self-love is such a fundamental aspect of our well-being, but what does it actually entail?

Well, how about we start with accepting ourselves unconditionally, embracing our strengths and growth points, and nurturing a deep sense of compassion and kindness towards ourselves? You know this already, and I do too.  But even so, loving ourselves can feel like an elusive goal, overshadowed by self-doubt, insecurities, and harsh self-judgments.

On our recent podcast episode, the theme of self-love wove its way through all 3 of the questions on our call, so I wanted to take a moment here on the blog to talk a little more specifically about how we might cultivate self-love and get grounded in our own goodness.Here are my go-to essential tips to help you embark on this transformative journey:

1. Practice Self-Compassion:

Start by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Acknowledge your struggles and challenges without judgment, and remind yourself that it’s okay to be imperfect. Embrace the mantra, “I am enough,” and let go of the need for perfection.  (More tips: How to Dissolve Self-Judgment).

2. Cultivate Mindfulness:

Bring awareness to your thoughts, feelings, needs and sensations in the present moment. Mindfulness allows you to observe your inner experiences without getting caught up in them, fostering a sense of inner peace and clarity. Take time each day to engage in mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or simply being fully present in whatever you are doing.

3. Set Boundaries:

Learn to assert your needs and prioritize self-care by setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional and mental well-being, and they empower you to create space for yourself amidst the demands of life. Practice saying no to activities or obligations that drain your energy and prioritize activities that nourish your soul.  (Need help? You can always take my Boundaries Masterclass for a deeper dive into relational boundary setting!)

4. Celebrate Your Achievements:

Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrating your achievements helps to boost your self-confidence and reinforces a positive self-image. Keep a journal of your successes, milestones, and moments of gratitude to remind yourself of your worth and progress.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity:

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you on your journey towards self-love. Cultivate relationships with individuals who celebrate your strengths, encourage your growth, and accept you for who you are. Limit exposure to negative influences or toxic relationships that undermine your self-worth.

6. Practice Self-Care:

Engaging in activities that nourish your body, mind, and spirit. I love to go on long walks in the woods, cook healthy nourishing meals, luxuriate in a hot bath, and lose myself in a good book. What about you?  Remember that self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for replenishing your energy and well-being.

7. Be Gentle with Yourself:

Let go of past mistakes, regrets, and self-criticism by practicing kindness and acceptance towards yourself. Recognize that you are human and simply immersed in a natural part of the learning process. Release any guilt or shame you may be carrying and offer yourself the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to others.

Want to hear the conversation that sparked this discussion?  You can listen to the entire episode, or just jump to the part where I answered these questions:

  • 2:35:  How do I tell my AA sponsor that I want a new sponsor?
  • 19:17:  How can I stop being so hard on myself and become grounded in my own goodness?
  • 35:48:  How can I help a friend take accountability for the negative impact her actions have on those of us in the friend group?

Self-love is a deliberate practice.

Learning to love yourself and getting grounded in your own goodness is a lifelong journey that requires patience, practice, and self-reflection. Let’s commit to cultivating a deep sense of self-love and acceptance that will enrich every aspect of our being and lives. Remember that we are born inherently worthy of love, kindness and compassion and sometimes it just means giving it to ourselves first.

How do you increase your self-love?  I’d love to know.  Leave a comment below.


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