, Psy.D., LP

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Feeling it Fixes it

Although we often want to move away from unpleasant feelings to avoid them, remember that often simply feeling it, fixes it. Situation One: As elevator doors were closing, I glimpsed a young child, maybe three years old, run towards the door to get in. The doors shut on her fingers. Hurrying and repeatedly pressing the […]

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One With Power

One-Up, One-Down? Try One-With

When someone challenges, disagrees with or contradicts you, how do you respond?   Does your body tighten-up or gear-up?  Do you withdraw, feel shame, get resentful, self-silence?  Do you get more activated and engaged and begin to prove your point, bring in evidence, debate and argue the issue?   Do you begin avoiding that person or do you start educating and advising them? One of the keys to personal […]

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Don't Judge Judgments Fox

Stop Judging Your Judgments: Do This Instead

Whenever we are stuck and suffering, we get ensnared by victim mentality: an intricate collection of judgmental thinking patterns that we inherited from our cultures and upbringing.  This inner part of us gets caught up in complaining, fault-finding, gossiping and worrying.  And, the more we feed this part of ourselves, the more we harm ourselves […]

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Recover from Reactivity

Recovering from Reactivity

As I was walking across a parking lot, carrying a package to a UPS store, a man passed me walking towards his car.  Moments later, he yelled back at me, with some hostility, “Hey lady, do you think you could park any closer to my car?” I turned around, embarrassed, and headed back to my car. “I’m so […]

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Too Emotional

Too Emotional? Are You Sure?

Working with some educational leaders recently on improving schools, someone remarked,“The problem is simply that many of our teachers are just too emotional.”  Years of experience hearing comments like this in schools and companies has taught me to slow down and ask more questions. “What do you mean by “too emotional”?  What are they saying […]

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