When we do our inner work, changes ripple out into our lives in invisible ways.

Many times when I am working with clients, we spend time role-playing out various ways that a conversation might go.

What if you said this?  
What if they then said that?  
And then what might you do?  
And how would that feel?  

Invariably, someone will tell me, wide eyed  – “But I’d never actually say that to them in real life! I could never be that direct, that honest, that vulnerable …”

You don’t have to.
(Yet. 😉)

Remember, our inner work is actually for US.  

Imagining new ways of doing something, saying something, responding to something actually increases our own sense of agency, choicefulness, freedom and new options.  It gives us a sense of groundedness and connection with ourselves.  

And, yes, as we heal ourselves, connect with ourselves, love ourselves more … that energy ripples out to others and changes the spaces between us.

On this week’s podcast, you’ll get to hear how someone imagines shifting a stuck interpersonal dynamic – even is she is the only one changing.

Listen to that conversation here, or use the show notes below to jump to a specific part.

Show notes:
(0:53) What is the point of setting boundaries when I feel bad about it?
(9:12) How do I address hearsay when it comes back to me?
(26:32) How do I handle a fear about being intimate with a partner?
(34:28) How do I advocate for my needs without making the other person feel like they’re being micro-managed or controlled?
(51:28) Outro

Check out this previous blog post for more ideas on how to capitalize on inner work in order to improve a relationship.

What inner work strategies have you tried to help you improve a relationship?  I’d love to know.  Leave a comment below.