The Essential Role of Self-Connection in Successful Relationships With Others

by | Jan 1, 2024 | Healthy Relationships, Personal Growth

Welcome to 2024!

The turn of the new year this time around feels strangely unfamiliar to me, as if something new is brewing.

Something I can feel, but not yet articulate.
A little mysterious, but not entirely unpleasant.  
A sense of anticipation, and noticing a desire to be prepared – but for what, I don’t know.  

I watched “Leave the World Behind” on Netflix over the holidays, and – no spoilers, don’t worry – was left with an enduring sense that the only thing that really matters is who we are to one another and who we become when things get tough and outcomes are unknown.  

I’ve noticed over the years that the more self-connected I become, the more I transform my feelings of shame and unworthiness into vulnerability, shared humanity and healthy self-respect, the more able I am to be open-hearted, generous and soft with others.  

One of the topics we dove into during our Conversations from the Heart call last week, was how valuable it can be for us to slow down relational charges by taking time to become aware of what is brewing within us before trying to talk about things with others.  Self-connection is powerful, and grounding.  

When we take time to process through our own emotions and reactions in a safe and calm space away from our partners, family members or triggering others, we give ourselves the gift of presence, awareness and space to return to those relationships with more choice and equanimity. We give ourselves time to heal, grieve and process whatever is needing to “come up,”  and that inner work, in turn, becomes a gift of resourcefulness that we are then able to extend to others.

I am often awed and honored by the questions and situations that people bring to these calls. If you’d like to join us, you can listen to the full podcast here, or jump to any specific section 
using these show notes:

Show notes:
(1:20) I have romantic feelings for my friend who doesn’t feel the same way.  What do I do?
(8:00) How to choose what to bring up to my partner
(16:10) I want my partner to grow with me.  How can I make that happen?
(18:10) How do I tell my partner I want to go to couples counseling?
(28:09) My mother dominates holiday conversations.  What can I do?
(39:18) How do I know whether to make a request or ask for feedback?
(42:46) How can I respond to someone else’s negative reactions?
(54:43) Outro

How does self-reflection create more successful relationships for you?  I’d love to know!  Leave a comment below.


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