Should I Bring it Up or Let it Go?

by | Mar 18, 2024 | Healthy Relationships, Personal Growth

I’m often asked “Should I bring it up or just let it go?”  And although every situation is different, the thing I know for sure is that the best time to have a conversation is when you think it’s just a “petty” problem.
Talk about it when it’s still small.  
When you feel like you can easily talk yourself out of it and let it go.  
When it’s not a big deal … yet.  
So often in my life, I’ve wanted to have a conversation but don’t bring it up because I thought I was making a big deal out of nothing and didn’t want to be accused of making a “mountain out of a molehill.”

The problem is often these “small things” then grow into bigger and bigger things, building charge and momentum as they repeat over time.  Trying to talk about something that has become loaded with history and discomfort is soooo much harder than talking about something that is still relatively little.  
We want to be generous and understanding humans, so we don’t bring it up.
We tell ourselves it doesn’t matter.
That we don’t want to make it worse.
We want to offer graciousness towards others when they’ve had a hard day.
While I certainly acknowledge that there are times that we seriously can just let it go, talking about things while they are not a big deal goes a long way to helping that thing never actually become a big deal.  

We’re able to be more grounded, calmer.
It’s easier to listen to the other person without our own pain getting in the way.
We build more trust, we meet our needs to be seen and known, and we give the other person an opportunity to talk about what might be “up” for them too.

I’d you’d like to be both understanding and generous, but still use the little glitches that happen in your relationships to attune more deeply to one another’s needs – then this week’s episode is for you.  

Questions we dive into this week include:
  • How do I manage a “bait and switch” when making plans with family? (1:12)
  • How could I have a more positive transaction with a painting professional who I think is gaslighting me? (21:09)
  • How do I respond empathically when I am called combative for disagreeing with a person of authority? (34:45)
  • What do we do when we make requests but the others say “no”? (48:50)
Tune in now, and as always – if you have a question of your own that you’d like to discuss, join us live on Wednesday morning to immerse yourself in an open-hearted community of fellow seekers!

Do you have a tip for knowing when to bring it up or let it go?  I’d love to know what it is!  Comment below.

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