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How to Apologize: Two Examples

by | Dec 18, 2023 | Boundaries, Feelings, Healthy Relationships

How we impact others, matters.  How we apologize makes a difference.

In an interdependent world, our choices and actions ripple out into the lives of others – either making things better, or worse.  

Sometimes, we positively impact others through our vulnerability, our generosity, our humor – our essential and imperfect willingness to live from our shared humanity.

Other times, we fall short. Under stress or full up with our own buckets of pain, we can spill over in less kind, less connected, less vulnerable ways than we’d like.  Our unawareness, our defenses, our disconnectedness, our unavailability in those moments can act like a drain, sucking energy out of interactions, or like a hedgehog – creating prickles and bristles in the place of connectedness and softness.  

So what do we do when we’ve shown up in ways we now regret?  
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How can we restore connection, without losing our dignity?  

When we ground ourselves in the part of ourselves that listens without judgment and connects without shame or blame, then our messier moments can become springboards for more intimate and vulnerable connections with others that actually build more trust.  

By tuning into the impact we have on one another – intentional or not – and genuinely caring about one another’s needs, we can find our ways into repair work that actually reconnects and helps us all learn and grown  

As you’ll discover in this week’s podcast, greeting ourselves with empathy and understanding is a necessary (but not sufficient) first step if we’re wanting to engage in deeper repair work with others.    
  

Want to learn more?  Check out the full podcast here, or jump to any specific section by using the show notes below.

For more on apologies, judgment and rejections, check out these blog posts:   

Show notes:
(0:55) I haven’t shown up professionally in the ways I’ve wanted to? How do I share that with colleagues?
(23:52) Someone emotionally exploded all over me and now I’m left holding the emotional baggage.  What do I do next?
(48:55) What has been meaningful today?  Input from call participants.
(54:56) Outro

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