One of the best things we can do for our relationships is connect deeply with the effect our actions have on others, and learn how to apologize in a way that feels good for both parties.

How we impact others, matters.  How we apologize makes a difference.

In an interdependent world, our choices and actions ripple out into the lives of others – either making things better, or worse.  

Sometimes, we positively impact others through our vulnerability, our generosity, our humor – our essential and imperfect willingness to live from our shared humanity.

Other times, we fall short. Under stress or full up with our own buckets of pain, we can spill over in less kind, less connected, less vulnerable ways than we’d like.  Our unawareness, our defenses, our disconnectedness, our unavailability in those moments can act like a drain, sucking energy out of interactions, or like a hedgehog – creating prickles and bristles in the place of connectedness and softness.  

So what do we do when we’ve shown up in ways we now regret?  
​ 
How can we restore connection, without losing our dignity?  

When we ground ourselves in the part of ourselves that listens without judgment and connects without shame or blame, then our messier moments can become springboards for more intimate and vulnerable connections with others that actually build more trust.  

By tuning into the impact we have on one another – intentional or not – and genuinely caring about one another’s needs, we can find our ways into repair work that actually reconnects and helps us all learn and grown  

As you’ll discover in this week’s podcast, greeting ourselves with empathy and understanding is a necessary (but not sufficient) first step if we’re wanting to engage in deeper repair work with others.    
  

Want to learn more?  Check out the full podcast here, or jump to any specific section by using the show notes below.

For more on apologies, judgment and rejections, check out these blog posts:   

Show notes:
(0:55) I haven’t shown up professionally in the ways I’ve wanted to? How do I share that with colleagues?
(23:52) Someone emotionally exploded all over me and now I’m left holding the emotional baggage.  What do I do next?
(48:55) What has been meaningful today?  Input from call participants.
(54:56) Outro

Share this post

Dr. Yvette Erasmus is a clinical psychologist, author, and host of the podcast Conversations from the Heart. Through her integrated approach to personal transformation, she has built a global community, teaching people how to live into their values with courage and authenticity.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts

the trap of being a good partner
Parenting & Family Life
#158 The Trap of Being a “Good” Partner
Trying to be a “good partner” can quietly lead to resentment, disconnection, and emotional burnout. This post explores why overgiving doesn’t create connection, and what ...
Read more
can I trust myself when I feel this much?
Inner Work & Discernment
#157 Can I Trust Myself When I Feel This Much?
When our emotions are intense and conflicting, it can feel impossible to know what’s true. This post explores why clarity disappears when we’re overwhelmed, and ...
Read more
how to stay open when you feel judged
Inner Work & Discernment
#156 How to Stay Open When You Feel Judged or ‘Fixed’
Why does “help” sometimes feel like criticism? In this post, we explore the nervous system response to being fixed, how old patterns of shutdown get ...
Read more
breaking the cycle without shame
Parenting & Family Life
#155 When You See Yourself in the Trigger: Breaking the Cycle Without Shame
What happens when the behavior that hurts you most is something you recognize in yourself? This post explores grandiosity, defensiveness, and how to break relational ...
Read more

Unlock Your Free Intro Course with Dr. Yvette

Unlock powerful strategies that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and genuine connection.

Intro Course Packets
6x