Where Did My No Go? A Codependency Question

by | Nov 6, 2023 | Healthy Relationships, Personal Growth

One of the ways that I stayed safe as a child, was by “flying under the radar,” so to speak.  

I learned not to say everything that I was thinking, not to express everything I was feeling, and to be very careful about how I presented myself to others.

When I would finally express myself, however, it often just tumbled out unskillfully, with a lot of charge and intensity.  

And, typically, that didn’t go well either.  

On the podcast this week, a participant on our call talked about how she wanted transform some of her own codependent patterns of being so that they wouldn’t get passed on to her young daughter.

While people-pleasing strategies may allow us to move in and out of situations and relationships like chameleons, they often come at the cost of deep self-abandonment and disconnection from ourselves.

For some of us, reclaiming our authentic selves, and learning how to express our truths and subjectivity in kind, gentle but direct and honest ways, has become a life-long reclamation practice

We dived into subjects like this and more in our Conversations from the Heart call this week.  Check out the full podcast here.

Want two practical strategies for detaching from codependence?  Take a look at the show notes below, or simply check out this YouTube clip.

Show Notes
[1:08] Why is it so difficult to show up differently in my relationship with my parents?
[4:55] Why am I so uncomfortable when my mom says “I love you”?
[11:15] Using hindsight and foresight to heal in the present
[14:30] I’m worried this “fancy language” will alienate instead of connect us
[19:40] Where does our courage come from?
[22:15] How do I respond with empathy without sounding formulaic?
[25:16] How you react to me tells me about you AND me
[30:05] How do I prevent passing my codependency down to my child?
[36:00] How can I work on myself?
[39:00] Is it ok to ask others to show up differently?

How did you find your “no”?  I’d love to know!  Leave a comment below.


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