When Does Fear Help, or Harm?
Sometimes our fears are a form of wisdom, directing our attention to our safety and well-being. Other times, our fears are an invitation into courageous action and risk-taking.
I’m Having a Reaction to What You’re Saying: Staying Connected in Difficult Conversations
Sometimes, when we’re engaged in a difficult conversation where we’re having a strong reaction, it can be really hard to know what to say or do next.
The Difference Between Wanting Validation and Needing It
There’s a difference between hoping that my offering brings benefit to others, and feeling a deep need for approval and validation from others. This desire can burn us out, make us feel like nothing we do matters, and can stop us from creating altogether.
How to Apologize: Two Examples
One of the best things we can do for our relationships is connect deeply with the effect our actions have on others, and learn how to apologize in a way that feels good for both parties.
When a Feeling Isn’t Really a Feeling
On today’s call, we continue to develop our feelings literacy by discussing faux feelings – the feelings that aren’t really feelings. Faux feelings can trip us up because they masquerade as things we can feel, but are really interpretations of actions outside of us.
Harnessing the Power of Conscious Anger
Anger can be a powerful tool for self-awareness and conflict resolution when we listen to its wisdom and identify the needs it’s going to bat for.
What is Healthy Self-Esteem?
I often talk about “loving ourselves up” through life. We know we have healthy self-esteem when we’re able to love ourselves up every time we make mistakes, aren’t good at something or do things that we regret. We don’t turn on ourselves. We don’t collapse into shame. Nor do we defend ourselves against vulnerability by […]
What Anger Tells Us
I’ve been reflecting on the pain of separation from people we love, on loneliness and on how much it hurts when we feel alienated from others in social gatherings. I’ve been remembering moments from my childhood when I felt existentially lonely, and how much of my life I’ve searched for the sense of belonging and […]
Transforming Our Relationship with Anger
I love working from home since I live right across the street from a nature reserve. I can throw on my shoes and be out the door – and in nature – so quickly. I went for a walk after the big snow this last weekend, and I was thinking about the power driving the […]
All About Anger
Even though anger is not the same thing as aggression, I often find myself tensing up around anger as if it is synonymous with aggression. I still consciously remind myself that it, in fact, is not. Anger, is the 30 second to 2 minute “whoooooosh” of activation that arises in our emotional bodies when we […]