When you want to speak your truth gently but firmly and aim for a mutually beneficial, collaborative outcome, use a series of questions like the ones on this worksheet to prepare. 

How do you engage with people who are different in ways that matter to you?

People not like you, in terms of your core values, vision or ideas about how you would like to see things happen in your life or the world at large?

I often find myself tempted to devalue them in some way – to see them as less than fully human, – maybe stupid, maybe uninformed, maybe unaware, maybe narcissistic.

The labels that distance me from them can go on and on.

But, that mindset makes it challenging to honor and respect their fundamental human dignity, while also aiming for a path forward that includes both of our needs and values.

So, when I want to speak my truth gently but firmly and aim for a mutually beneficial, collaborative outcome, I use a series of questions like the ones on this worksheet to help me prepare.

As I strategically walk through some self-empathy and self-awareness and also then put myself in the other person’s shoes, I’m often surprised at the shifts and relief I experience as I work through the steps.

And, these shifts then support me in cultivating more togetherness. 

Let me know how it works for you!

I’d love to know if these questions work for you too, and if there is anything you would change or add?   

Share this post

Dr. Yvette Erasmus is a clinical psychologist, author, and host of the podcast Conversations from the Heart. Through her integrated approach to personal transformation, she has built a global community, teaching people how to live into their values with courage and authenticity.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts

care without carrying
Boundaries & Power
#147 How to Care Without Carrying: Sympathy, Compassion, and Emotional Boundaries
Understanding the difference between sympathy and compassion can transform our relationships. In this post, we explore how to care deeply without becoming overwhelmed, and how ...
Read more
How to stay kind without draining yourself
Relational Integrity
#146 How to Stay Kind Without Draining Yourself
Many of us have learned to equate kindness with availability, But over time, that equation can leave us feeling drained, resentful, and disconnected. In this ...
Read more
trying to be a better parent but still sounding critical
Parenting & Family Life
#145 Trying to Be a Better Parent, But Still Sounding Critical?
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, I’m trying so hard to be a better parent… so why do I still sound critical?, you’re not alone. ...
Read more
How we become guarded
Relational Integrity
#144 How We Become Guarded, and How We Might Soften
Guardedness doesn’t come from nowhere. It forms in relationships where trust has been strained, needs have gone unmet, or emotional safety felt uncertain. In this ...
Read more

Unlock Your Free Intro Course with Dr. Yvette

Unlock powerful strategies that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and genuine connection.

Intro Course Packets
6x