When you want to speak your truth gently but firmly and aim for a mutually beneficial, collaborative outcome, use a series of questions like the ones on this worksheet to prepare. 

How do you engage with people who are different in ways that matter to you?

People not like you, in terms of your core values, vision or ideas about how you would like to see things happen in your life or the world at large?

I often find myself tempted to devalue them in some way – to see them as less than fully human, – maybe stupid, maybe uninformed, maybe unaware, maybe narcissistic.

The labels that distance me from them can go on and on.

But, that mindset makes it challenging to honor and respect their fundamental human dignity, while also aiming for a path forward that includes both of our needs and values.

So, when I want to speak my truth gently but firmly and aim for a mutually beneficial, collaborative outcome, I use a series of questions like the ones on this worksheet to help me prepare.

As I strategically walk through some self-empathy and self-awareness and also then put myself in the other person’s shoes, I’m often surprised at the shifts and relief I experience as I work through the steps.

And, these shifts then support me in cultivating more togetherness. 

Let me know how it works for you!

I’d love to know if these questions work for you too, and if there is anything you would change or add?   

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Dr. Yvette Erasmus is a clinical psychologist, author, and host of the podcast Conversations from the Heart. Through her integrated approach to personal transformation, she has built a global community, teaching people how to live into their values with courage and authenticity.

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