I was sitting with competing emotions recently--feeling peace and joy regarding the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday for those of us in the US, and conversely, feeling a lot of dread and hopelessness surrounding the increasing violence not only in the Middle East but in regions all across the globe.  I found myself wondering "Is violence ever justified?" You may be surprised to find out that indeed, sometimes force is exactly what is needed.

I’ve been sitting with competing emotions recently – feeling some peace and joy about the rest ahead for me during our upcoming Thanksgiving long weekend here in US, and at the same time, noticing so much ambient dread and hopelessness in me, connected to the increasing violence not only in the Middle East but in regions all around the globe. 

I found myself wondering “Is violence ever justified?”
Perhaps you’ve been wondering something similar.  

In my deep quest for a world that works for all people, combined with my desire for peace and the alleviation of suffering and oppression for all people, I can’t help but wonder:


What about those people who seek out war and actually enjoy inflicting suffering upon others?  What do we do about them?

In this week’s episode, I depart a bit from our usual format. Instead of responding to questions from the Conversations from the Heart Wednesday morning call, this “solo” episode is dedicated to exploring how the protective use of force differs from the punitive use of force in both intention and consequence.

In addition to discussing the differences between these two different types of force, I also offer up three practical, on-the-ground tools we can use (starting right now) to decrease our addiction to the punitive use of force and instead practice more life-affirming strategies in our daily lives. 

If you’d like to jump straight to those three tips, you can find the show notes below.  Interested in listening to the entire podcast?  Listen to the entire (20ish minutes) here.

Show notes:
[0:00] Intro
[2:45] The first line of defense in conflict management
[4:25] When is the use of force necessary?
[5:58] The intention behind the protective use of force
[6:30] The intention behind the punitive use of force
[8:08] The quickest way to reduce all violence
[10:40] The cost of submission
[12:45] What gets in the way of embracing creative, nonviolent solutions?
[16:46] The benefits of the protective use of force
[18:00] The importance of dropping enemy images
[20:34] How can I up level nonviolence in my own life?
[21:37] Outro

Are you transforming your relationship with force?  I’d love to know!  Leave a comment below.

Share this post

Related Posts

Healthy Relationships
#127 What to Say When Fear Is Running Your Relationships
What to say when fear is running your relationships. Learn how to check assumptions, ask for clarity, and choose courage over anxious stories.
Read more
Emotionally Unavailable
Emotional Connection
#126 Struggling to Connect with an Emotionally Unavailable Person? Practical Moves That Actually Help
When someone is emotionally unavailable, it’s usually not a lack of care or effort, it’s a nervous-system capacity limit, and no amount of better communication ...
Read more
old rules
Dismantling Domination Systems
#97 Disrupting the Old Rules: How to Stop Performing and Start Communicating
Old rules can be dismantled and replaced with new moves.
Read more
reconnect
Healthy Relationships
#96 How to Reconnect After Distance Without Losing Yourself: Scripts + Skills for Repairing a Friendship After Silence
Have you ever pulled away from someone, but then found yourself unsure how to reconnect when things changed for you? These scripts can help you ...
Read more

Unlock Your Free Intro Course with Dr. Yvette

Unlock powerful strategies that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and genuine connection.

Intro Course Packets
6x