Relationship Green Flags & What’s Working

by | Sep 15, 2020 | Healthy Relationships

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One of the core practices of compassionate consciousness is asking for what you do want, instead of talking about what you don’t want.

Imagining what we do want and what we are reaching for can be a powerful way to charge your relationship with some inspiration and purpose.

Ideally, these are qualities that you would already be embodying and living into yourself.

You’ve heard about relationship red flags – signs that things aren’t working – but what about green flags?

Here are some green flags to look out for when you want to create playful, growth-oriented, connected, and thriving relationships with others.

Relationship Green Flags

1. They are open and willing to heal any unresolved trauma, conditioning, and socialization that may be creating conflicts in the relationship.

Many conflicts carry echoes from previous experiences and hurts that arise in the present moment and then charge up more conflict. This happens to all of us. If we want to reach for relationships based on presence, connection, empathy, security, and freedom, we each have the opportunity to heal the past, emerge into the present moment with more clarity, and reach for a new future, instead of recycling dysfunctional patterns of suffering.

2. They can take ownership when they have made a mistake and are willing to find a way to handle things differently the next time.

In a healthy relationship, both people are willing to self-reflect, learn, and grow together and adjust to each other’s feelings and needs with empathy.

3. They openly communicate their boundaries and also respect yours even if you have different thresholds for things.

They can let you know their preferences, their willingness to shift (or not) and their dealbreakers. They are clear about how things impact them and what would help them feel safer, more connected, or more at ease. They can take in, honor, and respect your preferences and your dealbreakers. They neither invade your space, nor do they abandon you when their preferences aren’t met.

4. They are able to hear, reflect, and stay present to your thoughts, emotions, desires, and experiences when you share them.

You feel seen, heard, and validated as a person, even when you disagree with one another. You are each able to hold the tension of differences between you without disconnecting entirely from one another. Ideally, those differences even bring some excitement, spice and liveliness to your interactions in an enjoyable way.

If you’d like a longer checklist of both Green Flags and Red Flags to assess any relationship, then check out my free video course, Should I Stay or Should I Go.

I’ll help you figure out when it’s time to detach from a situation or person, and when and how to reinvest in the relationship for your own personal growth and development. Sign up now.


Here are a few of my programs that might be of interest to you:

  • Conversations from the Heart, a free Q&A call on Wednesdays at 10am CT. LEARN MORE

  • Membership, a deep dive into personal growth with a dedicated community. LEARN MORE

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