I’m Having a Reaction to What You’re Saying: Staying Connected in Difficult Conversations

Sometimes, when we're engaged in a difficult conversation where we're having a strong reaction, it can be really hard to know what to say or do next.

Sometimes, when we’re engaged in a difficult conversation where we’re having a strong reaction, it can be really hard to know what to say or do next.

Have you ever had that moment in a conversation where you just go “deer in the headlights” and aren’t sure what to say next?  

And then you notice yourself having a lot of judgments about what the other person said, but you also have “rules” in your mind about being “nice” and so you stall out?

On this week’s podcast we dive into three compelling topics:

  • Protecting pets and animals from abuse
  • Holding space for a friend in a harmful relationship
  • And, responding to prejudice


If you’ve ever wondered how to have kind but direct and honest conversations about something that matters to you, this episode is for you.  We explore what it takes to respond in courageous ways that allow us to be authentic and to show up with clear integrity, even if our authenticity and integrity might create awkwardness or discomfort for others.

To hear more, check out the entire podcast.  You can also jump from question to question by using these show notes:

Show notes:
(0:00) Intro
(1:18) After witnessing the abuse of a living being, how do I approach the person responsible?
(25:09) How do I help a friend who is ashamed because of harmful things their partner said to them?
(38:53) How do I regulate my nervous system and get in touch with needs and emotions in the moment?
(45:14) How should I respond to racial prejudice with someone who makes a negative comment?
(56:24) Instead of asking “why” questions, what is the better way of asking questions?
(59:17) Outro

How do you handle “deer in the headlights” moments?  What helps you progress?  I’d love to know.  Leave a comment below.

Share this post

Dr. Yvette Erasmus is a clinical psychologist, author, and host of the podcast Conversations from the Heart. Through her integrated approach to personal transformation, she has built a global community, teaching people how to live into their values with courage and authenticity.

4 Responses

    1. Thanks so much for the note, Holly. The podcast is called Conversations from the Heart and you can locate it anywhere you listen to podcasts – I added a direct link to the above post. Enjoy!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts

Inner Work & Discernment
#135 Caretaking vs Compassion
Caretaking vs compassion asks us to notice when empathy keeps us connected, and when it quietly pulls us away from our own truth.
Read more
Inner Work & Discernment
#134 How to Let Go When You Still Love Them
How to let go when you still love someone means learning to grieve what never was and stopping the search for connection where it can’t ...
Read more
Parenting & Family Life
#133 How to Help Our Kids (And Ourselves) Do Hard Things
A practical companion to Ep 133 of Conversations from the Heart Most of us want to help our children (and ourselves) grow into strong, confident, ...
Read more
Inner Work & Discernment
#132 The Art of Softening a Walled-Up Heart: Practical Ways to Reopen to Love
Softening a walled-up heart isn’t about tearing down our defenses, but learning how to meet them with curiosity, compassion, and the courage to stay present.
Read more

Unlock Your Free Intro Course with Dr. Yvette

Unlock powerful strategies that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and genuine connection.

Intro Course Packets
6x