The Sovereign listening archetype

 

YOUR LISTENING STYLE IS:

The Sovereign

When this style is most active within you, you tend to listen through the lens of dignified self-connection, honoring and staying true to your own feelings, needs and values.

Now that you’re here, I’ll show you how to turn your listening style to your advantage.

First of all…

watch the video below for a

Recap of your Results

Explore The Sovereign

Characteristics of the

Sovereign Listening Archetype

When you listen through the archetype of the Sovereign, you tend to hear through the grounded filter of self-connection, and are able to stay self-connected by tuning into your own feelings and needs. By staying deeply connected to yourself, you are able to remain composed, choiceful and deliberate in many of your responses to others. 

You treat yourself with dignity and respond with elegance, self-containment, and a lot of groundedness within yourself. You listen to others from your whole self.  You know how you feel, what you need and and want you’re wanting and wishing for in response to others, , and you tend to be really good at revealing yourself in vulnerable, self-honoring ways. 

However, while you may be skilled at self-advocacy and self-connection, you might not always be as tuned into the impact that your feelings and needs may have on others, and may need to slow down to attune to what is happening in those around you as well. 

You may enjoy having an audience of people paying attention to your feelings and needs, and sometimes could be listening from a position of power and privilege - so use it wisely and responsibly!

This listening archetype helps you stay grounded and centered when other people are being critical, judgmental or blaming towards you.  The Sovereign knows not to take things too personally, and believes in your inherent goodness and worthiness.  

One of the things to stay committed to if you tend to embody the Sovereign listening archetype, involves an awareness and attunement to the feelings and needs of others - especially when they disagree with you on something or are accusing you of something. 

This listening archetype helps you stay grounded and centered when other people are being critical, judgmental or blaming towards you.  The Sovereign knows not to take things too personally, and believes in your inherent goodness and worthiness.  

This listening archetype helps you stay grounded and centered when other people are being critical, judgmental or blaming towards you.  The Sovereign knows not to take things too personally, and believes in your inherent goodness and worthiness.  

One of the things to stay committed to if you tend to embody the Sovereign listening archetype, involves an awareness and attunement to the feelings and needs of others - especially when they disagree with you on something or are accusing you of something.  

The Sovereign listening archetype

 

Here’s the thing:

Make it a goal to embrace the “both/and” in your relationships:  Pause and connect with yourself, while simultaneously holding space for someone else’s feelings and needs. By learning how to hear the feelings and needs at the heart of other people’s judgments, criticisms and attacks, you can create deeper connection with yourself and others. 

As you learn more about both your superpowers and also the skills and capacities you can still develop, you’ll have more harmony and ease in your relationships, while still staying true to yourself. 

 

why understand your

Listening Style?

What if you had 2x more peace in all of your relationships — at work, at home, and with friends? 

What if you could connect with challenging and difficult people from the wisest, most loving, and most playful part of yourself?

When you know where you are, you know where your next growth step is. You can also get more strategic about where your growth edges may be, and set yourself on a path to creating deeper connections in your relationships with others, yourself, and your own life purpose.

The Sovereign is a powerful listening archetype that can bring transparency, honest self-expression and deep authenticity into our relationships.  However, when used habitually and unconsciously, it can devolve into a somewhat self-centered listening style, so let’s get clear on an accessible, attainable, and actionable game plan to avoid that from happening to you!

 how to deeply listen to others as

The Sovereign

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observe neutrally

Practice neutrally observing other people’s behaviors and words, and then practice identifying their underlying - and often unexpressed - feelings and needs. 

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stay
atuned

Ask the other person about their underlying feelings and needs when they are focused on expressing their judgments and criticisms, while at the same time staying attuned to your own feelings and needs. 

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consciously focus

Remember that when you are only listening through the lens of attuning to your own feelings and needs, if overused, this runs the risk of becoming self-absorbed and unbalanced.  Sometimes you may need to consciously focus on and listen for other people’s perceptions, feelings, needs and experiences a little more.

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practice listening

Practice listening from a place of shared humanity, equality and reciprocity.

 how to express yourself skillfully as

The Sovereign

Check for Impact

When you share something about yourself, remember to get curious  about the impact you may be having on the other person. After sharing something about yourself, ask direct questions about how someone else feels or what someone else thinks in response to what you revealed. 

Go Deeper

When you hear criticism, judgment, attacks or blame from someone else, continue to check in with your own feelings and needs, but also get curious about what that person may be feeling and needing underneath their judgments, and try to connect with their possible fear, pain, anger or distress instead of just defending against it.

Strive for Balance

When you talk about what you’re feeling, needing, and wanting, remember to ask the other person what they are also feeling, needing, and wanting. 

Build in Time and Space

If you don’t know how to identify someone else’s feelings and needs in the moment, allow yourself to revisit it later after you’ve had time to process what that person might have been feeling or needing. You can always loop back and say, “I didn’t have the words to sense or ask you how you were feeling at the moment, but I have them now. Here’s what I wish I had said, and I’d like to check in with you and how you felt in that moment.”

Stay in Shared Humanity

Get curious about any unmet or unfulfilled needs someone may have within themselves — with the same compassion that you might offer to yourself. 

I’m going to show you my framework and what you need to do to leverage the best parts of your listening archetype so that you can:

Build more peaceful relationships with others —imagine what’s possible when you use a proven framework to handle any charged moment with calm and peace. 

Deepen your sense of purpose — having a clear connection to your sense of meaning and purpose is integral to your well-being. Imagine reconnecting with your inner wisdom so you can make a meaningful difference in the world.

Create a stronger connection with yourself — this is what most communication archetypes overlook. I’ll help you understand why understanding your listening archetype is key to helping you gain more self-acceptance.

 specific action steps to take as

The Sovereign

Based on your quiz responses, you might be accustomed to tuning into your own feelings and needs when receiving criticism or blame from others.

As long as you realize that this runs the risk of becoming unbalanced and self-absorbed, you have a better chance of getting your own needs met while also taking part in shared humanity. You can stay connected to yourself and reveal yourself in vulnerable ways while still holding space for someone else’s feelings and needs. To become more aware of the impact you may be having on others, here’s what you can do:

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01Remember to check for impact on someone else when you talk about you’re feeling and needing and wanting

02Ask about the interests of other people after you express your own

03Practice also guessing at and identifying other people’s feelings after tuning into and expressing your own

04When having a conversation about yourself, remember to check in with how others are feeling and get curious about their underlying needs

05Work your way back into balance and shared humanity by actively asking others to share their reactions, thoughts, feelings and desires during the conversation.

Meet Dr. Yvette Erasmus
I know what it’s like to struggle to express myself authentically because I don’t want to make things worse with other people. I know what it’s like to be stuck in power struggles feeling lonely with the conflict and disconnection in my relationships at home and work.  Sometimes this is because I was afraid to own my power and set the boundaries I needed to because I was afraid of damaging my relationships.

I’ve spent a lifetime unlearning self-sabotaging habits and developing the skills and insights needed to communicate in relational ways with myself and others so that I can live an authentic, empowered and connected life. 

As a licensed clinical psychologist and life-long educator, I’ve created an online learning and practice community dedicated to helping others understand themselves better, develop more self-compassion and communicate more effectively.

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My Recommendations

for you

Based on your listening style, here are a few videos from my YouTube channel to help you keep strengthening your listening skills as a Sovereign invested in self-improvement so that you can connect more deeply with others, yourself, and with the meaningful difference you are meant to make in the world:

NEXT STEPS

Ready to take these practices to real life and specific relationships? 

Here’s what I want for you…

I want to see you become the most authentic, empowered, and connected version of yourself that is loving to others and yourself.

That’s why in addition to your results, I want to invite you to my free group calls that happen each Wednesday morning, called Conversations from the Heart. 

Feel free to bring your questions or just lurk and learn to apply compassionate communication, nonviolent relationship tools, and psychological insights to practice in your life to specific relationships. 

Now that you’re part of my community, be on the lookout for an email from me where I’ll send you an invitation. 🙂

With much love and tenderness –

Dr. Yvette Erasmus