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books, teachers, websites and trainings
Here is a selection of many of the teachers, modalities, and frameworks that I draw from and integrate into my work.

There’s a wealthy of helpful material out there, so I am only listing a few that I have personally used and been trained in.

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Recommended Reading

View my Core Reading List here. 

FTC Disclosure: Any products, programs, or personal recommendations made in this or any communication from us or third parties sometimes result in some form of compensation from the third party. Always do your own due diligence and use your own judgment when making purchasing decisions. 

Relationship Help
There are so many excellent people in this space that I can’t possibly do justice to the long list. That said, here are a few core people for me:

Terry Real

Esther Perel

Dr. Sue Johnson

Pia Mellody

Dr. Nan Wise

Dan Savage podcast

Local Referrals
Referrals for therapists, bodyworkers, and NVC trainers who are local to the Minneapolis-St. Paul area may be available upon request. Please contact us if you are looking for a recommendation. We also recommend the referrals page at for a comprehensive list of hotlines, psychologists, therapists, and more.
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Nonviolent Communication
NVC is a foundational, grounding philosophy in all my work. I highly recommend that people study this transformative process with experienced trainers and with their local communities. You can learn more about NVC here:

The Center for Nonviolent Communication

NVC Academy

Body-Based Therapies & Trauma Healing
If you have trouble getting “into” your body, you might want to explore a variety of body-based therapies to help you reconnect to your embodied self. Since we often “jump out” of our bodies as a result of trauma, many of these modalities focus on healing trauma. Here are some places to start exploring:

Somatic Experiencing

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) practice

Rosen Method

Myofascial Release

Diane Poole Heller


The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

The Body Never Lies by Alice Miller

Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine

Integral Theory & Spiral Dynamics
I am a huge fan of all things Integral Theory and often find myself circling back to Integral Theory to orient myself and my work. One of my favorite parts of Integral theory is the assumption that “everything fits,” and one my favorite teachers in this space is Diane Hamilton. If you want to journey down this rabbit hole, here are some gateways:

Integral Life

Integral Facilitation

Spiral Dynamics

Integral Relationships

Podcasts, Radio Shows and Interviews

From radio to podcasts, we’re often talking about the essence of my approach, weaving together nonviolent communication with other healing modalities to cultivate a conscious, compassionate, and courageous way of being in the world and in relationship.

Enjoy listening!

On Anger – March 23, 2018

For Minnesota Public Radio with healer Resmaa Menakem and host Marianne Combs, I talk about anger – what it is, where it comes from, when it can be used for good, and why some people are judged more harshly for showing it.

On Purging the Negative and Unnecessary – December 26, 2018

Again on Minnesota Public Radio with host Angela Davis, I talk about the idea of purging negative people and unnecessary things, featuring Christine Daves, organizer at Think Organized, and Stephanie Silvers, Executive Director of Dress for Success.

On the Power of Loving Relationships – July 14, 2020

As a guest on the podcast #LITA – Love Is the Answer with Jeff Conner, I talk about “what’s love got to do with it,” exploring the question of how we live together in loving and peaceful ways.

On Control vs. Connection – March 15, 2021

On the podcast Compassion Talk with Max Haywood, we differentiate control v.s. connection, look towards the needed inner work for Nonviolent Communication, and strategize ways of reclaiming parts of us that we have pushed away.

On Parenting Nonviolently – January 28, 2021

On the podcast Authentic Parenting with Anna Seewald, I talk about various aspects of the internal work of nonviolence and compassion that supports meaningful shifts in our relationships, including how we parent.

On Collaborative Communication – April 30, 2021

For the radio show PARTNER UP! with Amy Carroll, I talked about the essentials for creating opportunities for compassionate, conscious conversation and collaboration. If you’re new to my work, this would be a great introduction.

On Compassionate Communication – June 16, 2021

For the podcast The Mindful Midlife Crisis Podcast, I talked about communications styles and how being a more compassionate communicator can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships.

On Finding Meaning and Purpose – October 13, 2021

For the podcast The Mindful Midlife Crisis Podcast, I have a casual conversation with hosts Billy and Brian about the difference between being a journeyer and explorer, getting back to loving ourselves more, living out loud, and dancing more.

On How to Ask for What You Need – February 15, 2022

For the podcast Authentic Parenting with Anna Seewald, I talked about how to ask for what you need from your partner skillfully, mindfully and compassionately.

On the Foundation of Your Well-Being – March 14, 2022

For the podcast Well Beings with Tyler White, our conversation, though intended for healthcare workers, was much more broad, diving into the role compassionate communication can play in all the roles we might play in our lives.

On the Belief That Everything Changes When I Do – June 3, 2023

For AM 950’s Connections radio show with Laurie Fitz, our conversation covered broad and introductory topics such as my childhood in South Africa, intrinsic worth in a domination system, and the consequences of unresolved fight/flight issues, among other topics.

On Shared Humanity – July 1, 2023

Another appearance on Laurie Fitz’s AM 950 Connections radio show led to a rich discussion on topics ranging from different aspects of shared humanity to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s explanation of the 4 ways we can hear a message.