, Psy.D., LP

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This Daily Practice Works Wonders

I recently asked a team of leaders what I could work on to become even more effective in my work with them.

You know what they told me?

They wanted to be held more accountable to the insights they were developing.

One person elaborated, saying she loved the insights she was getting during our coaching time, but then had trouble installing those insights in a real, lived way after our conversations.

I’ve so been there.

Knowing something intellectually is just not the same thing as actually living it in daily life.

When it comes to finding ways of actually implementing our insights, many of us often stall out.

In his book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg cites a study from Duke University that found that about 40% of our daily choices are made on autopilot, out of pure habit.

The key is to have specific, concrete practices that get worked into the fabric of your daily life and support the growth, change and transformation you are aiming for.

And the best way to change an outdated habit?

According to Duhigg, a little bit of accountability + a replacement habit can go a long way.

So, this week, I want to share One Powerful Daily Practice I do at home with my daughter that might work for you too:

 

We Made a Bowl of Needs: Cards with Universal Human Needs listed

Each morning,  we randomly pick up a need and spend our day focused on the ways in which the need is well met through the day.

At bedtime, we share stories about how this particular need showed up for each of us, and we savor how it feels.

 

This daily practice nurtures a range of new habits for me: 

1. Develops my awareness and literacy of universal human needs(as opposed to my habitual focus on my judgments and strategies)

2. Provides a springboard for meaningful, positive conversationswith my daughter (as opposed to venting and complaining about our days)

3. Provides a daily connection ritual and accountability for my daughter and I (as opposed to just random connections here and there as we pass in the living room)

4.  Keeps my attention on what is going well each day (as opposed to being hijacked by fear, scarcity or wrongness. )

5.  Develops a habit of savoring what is working (as opposed to checking it off on a checklist without feeeeeeeeeling it)

Now it’s your turn:

  • What One Daily Practice would you like to incorporate into your daily life?
  • What needs are you hoping it will meet?
  • What thought or behavior patterns are you wanting to decrease?
  • More importantly, what thought or behavior patterns will replace the ones you are leaving behind?

I’d love to know what concrete practices you’ve found helpful in your own lives!  Leave a comment below!

 

 

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