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The Sovereign listening archetype



The Martyr

You tend to listen through the lens of self-improvement, self-judgment and sometimes even self-sacrifice, looking for the ways that others’ feedback might be true about you, and using it as a stimulus to take action and improve yourself.

Characteristics of the


Martyr Listening Archetype

When you listen through the Martyr Archetype, you tend to assume that you are the one who needs to change.

When you field others’ judgment, criticism and blame, you tend to respond with self-judgment, shame or guilt, and then use it to motivate you to change and improve in some way.

While your commitment to self-improvement and self-responsbility is admirable and has probably brought you far in life, you may suffer from an undue amount of anxiety, perfectionism, self-doubt or depression.  When your self-judgment get activated, you start looking for what is wrong with you or what you need to change. You may have a habit of “throwing yourself under the bus” by taking more responsibility than is actually yours in relationship issues and glitches.

Assuming that you are the problem or the one to blame may be exhausting and can set you up for carring more than the lion’s share of the emotional and mental load in your relationships.

Changing yourself in order to make things better shows great self-responsbility, but you might be taking more responsibility than is actually yours for the quality of your relationships – and may want to learn how to give some responsibilty back to those around you.

How to listen deeply to others

as The Martyr

martyr listen

How to express yourself fully

as The Martyr



I’d love to welcome you to my free Wednesday Q&A call!

This is a casual, friendly, open-access group: Drop in anytime.

    • Struggling with parenting?
    • Your spouse?
    • A family member?
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    • An oppressive system of injustice that you’d like to transform?

You are welcome to bring your questions, and I will do my best to help you find a new script, a new insight or a new way of seeing an old pattern.

I’m here to support your personal and professional inner growth work, as you cultivate a just, peaceful, and sustainable world in which everyone’s needs matter, suffering is alleviated, and conflict is transformed into connection.


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