, Psy.D., LP

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Embrace Negativity

Why Being “Positive” Might Be Bad For You

Have you noticed the cultural pressure to “Be Positive” or “Be Strong” or “Focus on the Good”? It’s as if we think that acknowledging or empathizing with painful experiences inadvertently creates more of them. I hear it all the time. “I would never do therapy,” someone said to me disdainfully, “All that focus on bad feelings and old stories will […]

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When You Get Emotional In Public

Last week, I was casually telling some people about a time when a perspective shifted in my life and suddenly found myself choked up with tears and pain. My first thoughts: Damn. Not here. Not now. I was with a group of relative strangers, doing task-related, intellectually heavy things. We had an agenda. Tears were […]

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Will Revenge Make Me Feel Better?

Walking the dog this morning, I noticed my mind playing out a revenge fantasy that I have been harboring. Have you noticed how when people hurt us in deeply enduring and life-altering ways, we sometimes feel like the only way out of our pain and suffering is to hand it back to them in the […]

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